THE RUDIMENTS OF SOCIAL BEHAVIOR

 DO’s AND DON’Ts

There is a law in science that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. The Hindu philosopher of yore also believed and professed the same, nay, they improved on this law and came out with the unique law of Karma. Law of Karma is to be described separately on my other blog (Vedanta, the Ultimate Philosophy). If you wish to know the delicacies of actions and understand their repercussions, you are most welcome to visit that blog. Here, let us limit ourselves to the essentials. What ever you do to others, will come back to you in form of a reaction. For this reason some DO’s’ and DON’T’s are formulated by the doctors of psychology for rational people. I reproduce their findings and conclusions in eight DO’s and seven DON’Ts below:-

DO

1.          Think well of others.

2.          Be good to others.

3.          Speak well of people.

4.          Get your mind off yourself.

5.          Have some common interest with others,

6.          Be adjustable.

7.          Be an interesting person.

8.          Be yourself.

DON’T

1.          Be undependable.

2.          Be argumentative.

3.          Be vulgar.

4.          Be sarcastic.

5.          Be boastful and noisy.

6.          Be too inquisitive.

7.          Be too aggressive.

RULES FOR ATTRACTIVENESS

There is nothing new to these rules if you know the saying “as you sow so you reap”. All boys and girls wish to be more and more attractive. The psychologists have delved deep into this desire and discovered five great rules for attractiveness. Do you want to know them? These rules are placed below:-

1.          Be clean.

2.          Be energetic

3.          Cultivate good expression.

4.          Cultivate good manners.

5.          Be tactful.

BE TACTFUL. Please look at the last one, “Be tactful”. While we converse with others we normally overlook their mental reactions. That shows our grossness. If we are little careful, it is not difficult to realize how the other person(s) is/are reacting to our talk. The reactions are always printed in their eyes, if only we know how to read them. That is not very difficult too. Suppose you tell some one, “Man, listen to me first” and watch the impression of your words in the eyes of that person. Then you speak the same thing to other man little tactfully, “Gentleman, kindly (or please) listen to me first.” Will you see the similar impression? No. Once on a Railway yard an English Officer was scolding his Indian subordinate, “Man, why didn't you do this?” Swami Vivekananda on hearing this sentence approached the officer and corrected him, “The proper word of address is ‘Gentleman’ and not ‘man’. It is sad to note that you have forgotten your own language.” An expert diplomat once defined the diplomatic language, “You say the bitterest things in a way that the same is received by the other party as a favour being done”. I am sure you are familiar with this famous Sanskrit saying (सत्यं ब्रूयात प्रियं ब्रूयात न ब्रूयात सत्यमप्रियम). This means that you must speak the truth but it should be a pleasing one. Unpleasant truths should not be spoken at all. This was about “tactful” speaking. The same thing is applicable in other social intercourse.

You must also contemplate on other points and grasp their intent and import in day to day life.

CONCLUSION

So, never impose yourself on others. Respect their feelings and sentiments. The reason is simple. If you are not tactful during the conversation or other social intercourse you loose the basic rationale of COMMUNICATION. It becomes meaningless tirade or simply a hollow harangue. So be careful. Incorporate necessary improvement in your habits.